Shot through the heart and you're to blame

The day didn't start well. I drank 2 cups of coffee to keep myself awake while studying for the Social Studies Continual Assessment Three and, well, I didn't think that it was great. And while writing my Structured Essay Question, I was annoyed for approximately 300 000 milliseconds by certain short and stout individuals saying, "Oh my gosh! Nicholas hasn't finished his SEQ?" *in the most god-awful condescending and annoying tone.

I was tempted to grab his puny head and place it forcibly through my inexplicably vandalised table. And then I realised it was a felony to do so plus I would waste 2 seconds hurting him. Weighing the pros and cons, I continued on the essay.

But the day started to pick up.

I realised that it was also "NCC outing day" and what an outing it was. I guess it really started when Ryan and I instinctively ran away from our Indian acquaintances. Anyway, ran we did, and we ran all the way to Raiders Local Area Network cyber cafe, the first stop of what would be a fantastic day.

You see, LAN, as much as it is a haven for teenage males who flunk their exams, it is also a cache of intrinsically exciting video games. Amidst the malodorous smell and pitch-black darkness, we have to liberty to shout "Loser" , "Hell Yeah", and "Oh My God" amidst other ridiculous stuff. Through the game Defense of the Ancients, commonly abbreviated as DotA, we form two teams of individuals and set out to obliterate the other teams, characterized by silly-looking avatars.

The entire process starts with us forming witty names of the girls we are supposedly in love with or our latest joke about diarrhea.

Common names

PinkDolpinx333

PinkPangSaix333

Vinesha

Tabitha

Omar the Sai

XiuMing the Sai

Kermit

Ip Man

My Favourite Sex Postion

Sexbomb

and of course .... Fern

This is often followed by us teaming up to kill Omar and Nicholas occasionally screaming humorous threats. Sometimes, we do the most ridiculously funny stuff or get stuck in awfully unfortunate predicaments that make us laugh for 10 minutes. And that is inherently the joy that lies within visits to LAN cafes.

And in the end, when we cause gargantuan trees to burn by hitting it repeatedly, we raise our fists and holler in bliss and ecstasy. And we open our palms and high-five one another with the utmost force, victorious, unbelievably delighted and so glad that we have our best friends to share the moment with.

Moving on from my exceptionally descriptive essay about LAN games.

We were on the fence as to what movie we wanted to watch. Initially, it was decided as The A-Team then it swerved between She's Out Of My League, Toy Story 3 and we finally ended up with Ip Man: The Legend is Born.

Omar, of course, is Indian in nature and understands as much Chinese as I do, yet he watched the movie with us, which of course deserves honorable mention!!!

Before that, we grabbed a bite at Popeyes where we encountered Kuan Ting and his female friends. I vomited for 2.21 minutes and proceeded to order two large mashed potatoes. Of course, Kuan Ting was laughing at the potatoes the whole time.

After listening to Kuan Ting giggle hysterically at cultivated plants, we entered the Eng Wah theater, which was 91% empty and a source of much laughter for us boys. Given that the theater was relatively vacant, we were essentially free to do ludicrous stuff. Xiu Ming was laughing at the bleached ceilings and somehow it led to a discussion of how to accomplish an extraordinarily powerful ejaculation.

And of course, the movie was pretty nice. Omar punched me in the stomach trying to imitate the iconic Ip Man, which also happens to be a great example of globalisation. All over the world, 16-year-old Indian boys are hurting their friends in an attempt to emulate kung fu masters. In fact, we even learned that Indians have their own form of deadly martial arts. Quoting Omar, "The Staff Skill of Death"

So guess what. We went for another hour of Local Area Network gaming, seeing as the day was still gay, at Good Speed cyber cafe. That repugnant wave of instant noodles overwhelmed me in nostalgia. I guess Omar phrased it the best when he said, " Some things in life don't change. Like the LAN shop uncle. "

As we walked along the return path from Good Speed cyber cafe, (walk down the spiral staircase, walk straight and take a right), I inexplicably felt blessed. Blessed that I discovered these wonderful and incredible people.

So I'll finally admit that I really dislike my life in class. I'm often alone, mostly because I'd rather go home than play basketball. I refuse to pander to people unlike certain annoying and diminutive individuals. The people I dislike are those that are dreadfully conceited and stuck-up. Such as the one who can only whisper sinfully to the ultimate aficionado of cosmetically-altered Korean girls. These people are noteworthy academically but as subtle as sin. And I still can't stand the fact that they dislike most of my best friends.

But you know what? All that doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because I have the greatest friends in the world.